Opinions differ on the purpose of lovemaking.
At one extreme sex is seen as something to be endured only for the purpose of reproduction. For others the purpose of making love is becoming one, in the biblical sense. Still others see sex as a biological urge and conquest seems to be the objective.
What is your purpose in making love? You get to choose. Is your purpose to shut your partner up? Are you having sex out of obligation? Is it an expression of your love for your partner? Are you filling a biological urge? Purposes for lovemaking will vary from person to person. It is also possible that individuals may find that their purpose for making love may vary from one experience to another.
There is a range of possible purposes for sex; some of them are lofty and even sacred, and relationship building where others are baser and destructive. When the purpose becomes the exertion of power or control, sex is not lovemaking. Force, manipulation and coercion are always harmful. It is not possible to force someone to make love to you; obligatory sex is always a passion killer.
There is a chance in long-term relationships that couples may lose sight of the their purposes for lovemaking and as a result sex becomes routine. Couples start to invest less of themselves in lovemaking; they pull back and withhold love from each other. Excuses start to surface like I'm too tired, too busy, or not in the mood. Rather than being vulnerable with each other they put up walls and get good at avoiding each other.
On the positive side, the purpose of lovemaking can range from a way to express and increase the passion that you feel for each other, a way to bond or draw you closer to each other; to a pleasant sleeping pill, a fun way to burn calories, or a way to comfort each other.
Your purpose and approach to lovemaking will have a huge impact on whether it is a positive or negative experience and whether it makes your partner more or less sexually receptive in the future. Negative sexual experiences tend to make people less interested in making love. Making love can draw you together, that emotional connection during and cuddling after lovemaking releases the bonding chemical oxytocin in your brains. Oxytocin increases loving feelings and sexual receptivity, greatly improving your chances of making love in the future.
Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C., C.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach
Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course
Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine
Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples.
What is your purpose in making love? You get to choose. Is your purpose to shut your partner up? Are you having sex out of obligation? Is it an expression of your love for your partner? Are you filling a biological urge? Purposes for lovemaking will vary from person to person. It is also possible that individuals may find that their purpose for making love may vary from one experience to another.
There is a range of possible purposes for sex; some of them are lofty and even sacred, and relationship building where others are baser and destructive. When the purpose becomes the exertion of power or control, sex is not lovemaking. Force, manipulation and coercion are always harmful. It is not possible to force someone to make love to you; obligatory sex is always a passion killer.
There is a chance in long-term relationships that couples may lose sight of the their purposes for lovemaking and as a result sex becomes routine. Couples start to invest less of themselves in lovemaking; they pull back and withhold love from each other. Excuses start to surface like I'm too tired, too busy, or not in the mood. Rather than being vulnerable with each other they put up walls and get good at avoiding each other.
On the positive side, the purpose of lovemaking can range from a way to express and increase the passion that you feel for each other, a way to bond or draw you closer to each other; to a pleasant sleeping pill, a fun way to burn calories, or a way to comfort each other.
Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C., C.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach
Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course
Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine
Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples.
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